In Praise of Nerds

I love nerds.

There I said it. Some girls like jocks, some girls like badboys, I like the late-to-bloom nerds. defines nerd as:
a stupid, irritating, ineffectual, or unattractive person, or an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit.

No, no, no, they've got it all wrong. more accurately lists among its definitions:

An individual persecuted for his superior skills or intellect, most often by people who fear and envy him.

An individual who does not conform to society's beliefs that all people should follow trends and do what their peers do.

A person who gains pleasure from amassing large quantities of knowledge about subjects often too detailed or complicated for most other people to be bothered with.

A four-letter word but a six-figure income. The person you will one day call '

I also like to think of nerds as late bloomers. The girls and guys that lacked the social confidence in highschool to get them laid or elected to homecoming court. Instead, they learned to develop skills that would one day make them attractive and desirable to the opposite sex. The other good part about many nerds is when they finally 'blossom', they have no idea.

Case in point, my husband. A self-described chubby computer nerd in highschool. Now a fit, handsome, gifted lover(he reads, a lot), amazing father, considerate partner, software engineer(cha-ching) and the best part, he's really smart, so I've never run out of things to talk to him about. He is the very definition of tall, dark and handsome and he has no idea. He looks at me and sees the girl who he was too shy to talk to in highschool, so he adores me and thinks he's hit the jackpot. He forgets that in highschool, I wasn't the girl I am now either, I was a smart but painfully insecure, choir joining, cheap glasses-wearing, nerd-girl.

So a note to the women currently traversing the dating world, give the nerds a chance. They might seem goofey on the outside, but you can always work on the clothes, glasses and haircut later. They are so great for so many reasons. They are good with the nookie. Think about it, all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, coupled with a desire to make you happy? Give it to them and they are grateful. They are trustworthy. They're not going to flirt with or ogle other women. First, they don't have the social confidence. Second, they're more interested in the nearest electronics store. Third, they really respect you. Forget the alpha male and embrace the beta guy, trust me, you won't be sorry.

So all you nerds out there, young and old, take heart, if it hasn't already, your time will come.

Some Notable Nerds
Bill Gates(net worth $56 Billion dollars)
Clark Kent(Superman when he takes his clothes off)
Steve Carrell(he is a skilled ice-skater in real life and he made being an old virgin seem cool in the movies)
Mike Rowe(he sang with the Baltimore Opera and a theater nerd)
Mehmet Oz(cardiothoracic surgeon, in 1986 he got his MD and an MBA, and check out the ears)
John Stewart(birthname Leibowitz and he played the french horn in the school band)
Jimmy Fallon(majored in computer science)
Patrick Dempsey(middle name Galen and he tied for 2nd in a national juggling competition)

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Anonymous said... June 11, 2008 at 4:49 AM  

OMG yes. I am destined for a nerd. We'll have nerd babies who will learn to read at 6 months, make their own chemistry sets and make a pile of money in scary biopharma.

Laurel said... June 11, 2008 at 7:01 AM  

It's funny that I know who all your notable nerds are and I like them!! I am currently married to a nerd and am raising one also. The world needs nerds to survive. Those prom kings have way too many issues as they get older. Loved the post.

Anonymous said... June 11, 2008 at 8:29 AM  

Beta male, eh!? We will see about that!

Anonymous said... June 11, 2008 at 9:15 AM  

SD, You know you're the alpha-male where it counts.

~Mountain Lover~ said... August 24, 2008 at 3:30 PM  

Dear Formerly Fun,

What if in high school you were the nerdiest nerd of them all, and in college you grew out of it. However, being a nerd for so long has caused you to be too shy to even talk to nerds? And the nerds are too shy to talk to you? In short, what's the best advice you have to snag yourself a nerd?

Mountain Lover

P.S. I'm asking for a friend.

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