They Say It's My Birthday, I'm gonna Have a good Time

It's my thirty-fifth birthday today. Thirty-five years ago, a seventeen year old cheerleader(also known as my mother) huffed and puffed until I flew out of her. As my mom tells it, her labour was about an hour, short and pretty easy. Guess your body at 17 is primed for childbirth even if your head's not.

I don't feel like I'm 35, not that 35 is old because it isn't(I'm going to keep telling myself that all day) but it doesn't feel like the age I am. I feel like I'm 27, my husband tells me I look like I'm in my mid to late 20's, in my teens if I put my glasses on, which he just told me he thoroughly enjoys. He said this in a tone that tells me he wants me to put the glasses on the next time we have sex which will probably be a couple of weeks considering the recent surgery. No sexy time on my birthday, that's enough to make me cry.

So in honour of my 35th given that it's a bit of a milestone, I will expound on 35 things I've learned so far. I'm on the good pain medication so maybe when I look at this a few weeks from now it will not make sense but anyhow.

1. Everyone likes getting real mail now and then, a card, a letter, writing is a lost art. Handwritten thank yous are a real treat, do it when you can.

2. A sense of humor makes everything easier.

3. Be thankful you don't get everything you ask for.

4. It's not as big a deal as you think it is, whatever it is.

5. Buy yourself something indulgent that you use nearly every day, be it a nice pair of jeans or a good bottle of shampoo or an expensive lipstick.

6. Don't lower your expectations but be realistic.

7. Success is overrated, achievement is overstressed.

8. Pay off your debt, don't spend more than you have and you'll sleep better.

9. Empathy is underrated, you don't have to agree with someone but understanding where they are coming from is incredibly humanizing.

10. Being right doesn't matter.

11.Possessions are just pleasant distractions, don't let your stuff own you.

12. Food and sex keep men happy.

13. If I'm stuck in a bad mood, lolcats can usually get me laughing. It's dumb but it works.

14. A heartfelt sincere apology is a powerful thing.

15. If you want to have attractive pictures of yourself, take a lot of pictures, then learn a little photoshop(pimples you are Heal-ed!)

16. We don't hug each other enough.

17. Don't set out to win an argument with anyone you love.

18. So you fucked up, move on and just do it better next time, you're not perfect who cares.

19. It's okay to have shoes that are just for the bedroom.

20. If you want something from your husband, sometimes pigtails smooth the negotiations.

21.The Hitachi Magic Wand is magic indeed and worth the seventy bucks.

22. Even men like to be told they look nice, smell good.

23. Love is about mutual respect and admiration.

24.Don't spend much time worrying about what other people think of you. People tend to be self-absorbed and spend a lot less time thinking about you than you think.

25. Everybody's had bad stuff happen to them, your pain isn't worse than anybody else's, it's all relative.

26.Doing something that scares you is invigorating.

27.You always have choices.

28.Hard lessons will repeat themselves until you get it. Try and get it early, it's just easier.

29.When you can afford it, get a good bed and the best sheets you can afford.

30. Wash your hands.

31.Let at least one person see you as you really are.

32.Take the meds, pain is not artistic.

33.Cats and dogs are much easier than kids, make sure you really want any of them before you jump.

34. What you do is not who you are.

35. Parenthood changes you forever.

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Kris said... August 28, 2008 at 3:22 PM  

Happy Birthday! I like your list. :-)

Anonymous said... August 28, 2008 at 7:10 PM  

A big Get Birthday Happy Well to you, oh Sage Medicated One! That is one well-rounded, intelligent list.

I'm not sure if you're up for cake (it will freeze)(frozen icing - yum), but try a fingertip-ful, and giggle just a little.

May your next year be blessed with love, contentment and laughter.

Anonymous said... August 28, 2008 at 8:56 PM  

Happy birthday! 35 is fantastic, enjoy!

Great list, there are some real gems there.

Jan said... August 29, 2008 at 4:33 AM  

Happy Birthday! 35 is a great age...everything is still working, nothing sags (much) and you are much wiser than you were in your 20's.

Rassles said... August 29, 2008 at 7:14 AM  

Nice. Excellent propheteering, because some of that I needed/loved to hear.

Do you also cry tears of the future?

Anonymous said... August 29, 2008 at 7:17 AM  

Happy Birthday Chris! You don't look a day over 27, but you still get your 35 count spanking - one for each year - and probably a pinch or two!

MJ said... August 29, 2008 at 7:47 AM  

Food and sex keep men happy.

Hope it didn't take you all these years to figure that out ;)

Happy belated!

Bluestreak said... August 29, 2008 at 8:51 AM  

Happy Birthday!!!!
yeah, I´m gonna print that list and put it on my fridge. Thanks.

Mrs. Case said... August 29, 2008 at 10:20 AM  

I blogged about you, BTW.

formerly fun said... August 29, 2008 at 1:35 PM  

kris- Thanks

baroness von bloggenschtern- Thanks, yep loopy medicated one, makes surgery not so bad. Mmmm, cake, I want cake, where is my cake?

afreeman- Are you already 35? I hope it's good, list? well yes, wonder how much different it will look in another 5 years.

Jan- Not too much sagging yet and I do feel more comfortable and smarter than my 20's, I hope it gets better every year.

Rassles- You are funny, even when I'm unmedicated. If you lived closer, I'd make you be my friend.

SD- Wait for the gut stitches to heal and then I'll take my 35 lashings with pleasure:)and pinches too, cause I've been a bad girl, wait, that's the meds talking, edit, edit, edit.

MJ- I just finally figured out the order, food, sex, more food.

Bluestreak- Highlight the pigtail one, seriously, next time I go negotiate a car or do a job interview, I'm wearing 'em.

Cagequeen-You are brave and maybe on your way to becoming a wax queen yourself.

I Am Woody said... August 29, 2008 at 6:00 PM  

Happy Birthday! You are wise beyond your years.

PS - I am totally looking into that Magic Wand!

Practically Joe said... August 31, 2008 at 7:19 AM  

12. Food and sex keep men happy.
You are wise beyond your age.
Happy B-day!

Captain Steve said... August 31, 2008 at 11:28 AM  

Happy Birthday! Good list. I have a question though: when the Dirty Pirate crossposted on your blog, how did that work?

Gypsy said... September 3, 2008 at 12:40 PM  

Happy (belated) birthday!

Damn how I wish I'd learned 8 a long time ago.

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