20 Signs You're a Young Gay Man

I get shloads of free magazines at the spa all the time. They send them to spas and salons frequently because it boosts their circulation, allowing them to charge more to advertisers. Recently I got one that is ”America's #1 Gay Men's Magazine” and calls itself the gay version of Details. I brought it home to page through out of curiosity and to see how the other half of the other half lives. Based on the magazine, its features, ads and editorials, this is what I gleaned interests young, gay, men.

1.Underpants. Really tighty whiteys, boxer briefs, stringy thingies, I've never seen this much variety in men's underwear.

2.Funny, female heavy drinker, hot messes.

3.Lime flavored Bud lite.

4.Tom Cruise- Don't send me troll mail on this one Scientolgists.

5.10,000 BC loinclothes, basically just prehistoric underwear(see #1)

6.Sarah Jessica Parker(see #2)

7.White pants and very tan men

8.Hosting eurodance partys

9.Calvin Klein. Preeminent designer of men's underwear(see #1) and white pants(see #7).

10.Stylish vodka

11.David Sedaris(who isn't interested, this guy is hilarious)

12.Back to school clothes that expose your underwear(see #1)

13.More fashion designers that design underwear(see #1 and #9)

14.Gay-friendly travel destinations.

15.Sizzling hot beaches with well-heeled bronzebodies in designer swimwear. Basically just underwear for the water(see #1) and by the way, usually skimpier than underwear itself, these guys have definately been manscaped.

16. Grooming products

17. An absence of body hair

18. Biographies of underwear cover models

19.Playing chicken in the pool in their fashion swimwear

20. Working out, so you look good in your underwear

If you like 3 or more of these things, are male and spend more than exactly no minutes a day thinking about male underwear, you just may be a gay male 18-34. Now go get a spray tan, put your new white pants on, pour yourself a persimmon/pomegranate flavoured vodka and send out the e-vites for your Eurodance party.

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6 comments:

KaritaG said... August 13, 2008 at 11:35 AM  

OMG, that's hilarious, I evidently was a gay man in another life or something...I blogged on gay men today too!

Dirty Pirate Hooker said... August 13, 2008 at 11:38 AM  

Oh fuck. All signs point to my being a young gay man. I guess I should have gotten the 'manzilian' huh?

Lori said... August 13, 2008 at 5:20 PM  

So that's my problem - I'm really a young gay man. Now, how do I tell my husband???

MJ said... August 14, 2008 at 7:20 AM  

Hmmm.... Tan, toned, bikini underwear clad men.... I think I'm a gay man all of a sudden...

Aileen said... March 14, 2010 at 7:22 AM  

Lol.. this one is hilarious.. There's also an underwear picture there..

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