Hey Look, Is That Traci Lords?

Saturday my husband dropped the big kids off at Grandma's while I worked. We planned to have a 'date night' with the bebe in tow. Doesn't sound like much of a date night but a happy, mumbling baby is easier to have adult convo through than an eight year old and a four year old with a LOT to say.

We got ready to go out and I decide to snazz it up a little because hubs loves when I dress up girlie-girl. I did my hair, put on a little makeup, my new black dress my peep toes FMPs I bought. “Whew, fo-xy la-dy”, he said as I walked past him. Clearly, my husband knows what it takes to get laid around here.

We headed out to the local outdoor mall/theater/restaurant/center/amphitheater/fountainy area. We nibbled on sushi and yummy soup and revelled in the time together. The bebe was in great spirits and happily amused herself for a half hour shoving little clumps of sticky rice into her gullet.

After dinner, we decided to walk around. They had a Beatles cover band playing in the amphitheater and it was cool and breezy outside with the sun beginning to go down. I held the bebe for awhile as we walked around window shopping and listening to the music. With the FMP's and all, my arms got tired and the hubs took the bebe.

We walked past a group of guys, "You were sure getting some looks," my husband said.

“Really?", I said.

"Well look at you, you're gorgeous."

I puffed up a little, I did look good. I started noticing a lot of guys checking me out, I was really getting some looks.

"Well, you know this dress is kind of boobalicious, that's probably why I'm getting stared at," I offered.

"Yeah it is, baby you got the goods, he said.

I looked down to check that my goods weren't actually hanging out of the dress when I saw what all those guys were looking at. The bebe had smeared gooey rice slobber all over my black dress. It looked like the husband had spilled his baby juice all over the front of my dress. I'm not kidding, it looked like my dress was the victim of a money shot, thanks kiddo.

Good thing my head didn't get too big. I furiously wiped off the offending white stain, unlike Monica I'm not saving the evidence. To my credit I did get a few looks after this, and this time they weren't snickering.

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8 comments:

Jay said... August 18, 2008 at 4:45 PM  

ROFL!!! That's so funny (especially since it didn't happen to me) but I bet you were getting checked out mostly because you looked gorgeous.

Let's face it, guys just don't notice things like rice goo. Now if it were women checking you out, you can bet they were thinking the worst. ;)

LOL!

greenbeanfx said... August 18, 2008 at 6:46 PM  

Um to the previous poster. I'm Asian, so nevermind the boobalicious mammaries. I'd totally scope out the rice goo! Is it short grained? Long grained? Basmati? Japanese Sticky rice? sweet rice? alcohol rice? It can all be so fascinating. You really can't get enough the white gooey stuff.

Bluestreak said... August 19, 2008 at 4:36 AM  

niiiiiiiiiiice. Nice looking lady with white gooey stuff all over her. Isn´t that what all men want? Well, at least that´s what the free nightly Spanish porn on local television channels here tells me.

2 Vermont Chitlins said... August 19, 2008 at 6:52 AM  

I have been there woman!

Nothing screams "I AM A MOM!" like baby drivel all over your hotness.

or boob juice--which is what happened to me at the husbands christmas party.
Umm-ya...isn't that the bosses wife leaking boob juice all over her hotness?
yes. yes it is.

MJ said... August 19, 2008 at 6:52 AM  

Clearly, my husband knows what it takes to get laid around here.

LMAO.

Rassles said... August 19, 2008 at 8:34 AM  

Oh, the joys of fake spunk.

Captain Steve said... August 19, 2008 at 8:44 AM  

Good baby! Good baby! That probably upped your husband's guy cred exponentially.

Arizaphale said... August 21, 2008 at 6:47 AM  

In my experience, if your 'goods' were anything like 'boobalicious', the rice goo would not even have got onto your average guy's radar....greenbeanfx being the obvious exception of course. Heck, they don't see it smeared over a kitchen counter or glued to the bottom of that pan that's been in the sink for 24 hours now.....

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