Stoopid Room So Messy

At this very moment I am listening to my four year old daughter have the funniest tantrum. I am so mean because I have to be honest, she is so entertaining me right now. She was already a little verklempt because of some real or imagined slight from her brother and I made the mistake of telling her she had to go clean her room.

Now she is in there doing the one part shout, one part cry and one part hurl incoherent insults, probably in my direction.

"Bu-bu-bud I don wanna pick up my ro-ro-ro-room. I hate deez cars, stoopid room soooo messy, it's too hard mom, bawh, where's is my crashtran? So-so-somebody took my crashtran, bawh."
I can hear the little toy cars I asked her to pick up being slammed into the bucket, so even though she's having a fit, she's doing what I asked. I win, I win. The funny thing is I do the same thing when I'm pissed that nobody's picking up any of their shit. I stomp around the house, mumbling semi-coherent invectives:
"I must be the only person around here who doesn't need glasses 'cause apparently no one else can see all this shit." "I bet if I didn't put this crap away it would pile up and eventually crush us to death." "Here's your laundry you filthy ingrates."

And yes, sometimes I even cry about it.

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7 comments:

Jay said... August 14, 2008 at 12:04 PM  

Ah, a real little chip off the old block, huh? That's funny! LOL!

I gave up with my boys in the end and just refused to go into their rooms anymore. Of course, they were in their teens by then. ;)

Queen Mutha said... August 14, 2008 at 12:30 PM  

See this is where you are so totally screwed. I wear glasses and am blind as a bat. Also, as you already know, I spend way too much time online, instead of cleaning.

As soon as I walk in the door I take OFF my glasses and half the mess instantly vanishes. Everything appears pleasantly blurred into much less of a mess than it really is. God help them if I ever decide to actually wear glasses indoors.

It's sad that my vision is 20/250 and the only time I wear my glasses is when I drive or when I have to clean for company.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said... August 14, 2008 at 3:29 PM  

LMFAO, that's so hilarious!!! My punk does that too. Her favorite things to say to get out of picking up her room are:

"but I'm just a child!"
and
"my legs hurt really bad right now and I think I should just sit on the couch for a while and take it easy."

2 Vermont Chitlins said... August 14, 2008 at 5:54 PM  

oh yes--the four year old whiney, crying tantrum....it's the mainstay at our house (unfortunately)....and I occasionally (ok-more often tnan not)find sick twisted humor in them myself....either that or I'm liable to go all nutso more than usual...and holy shit that's aallloottaa Planters baby!

A Free Man said... August 15, 2008 at 4:43 AM  

I had that same tantrum this afternoon in my office. 4, huh? I'm getting more mature every day!

Arizaphale said... August 15, 2008 at 9:03 PM  

I do that too but it sounds somehing like this
"Don't worry about ME I'll just pick up all this shit and fold your washing and throw it in your room while you lie there on the couch. No, no, don't move, it's alright...I've got NOTHING ELSE TO DO!!!!!!!!

Sometimes the guilt trip works....

Formerly Fun said... August 16, 2008 at 8:34 AM  

jay
I know I'll have to relent at some point and let them have their own little corner of Dirtydom but a few early habits might sink in. My eight year old makes his bed with almost military precision every morn without being asked, it's a little miracle really.
Someday he's going to make some woman very happy.

Mutha
Maybe I houldn't have gotten a new prescription, I like your stategy. With as many kids as you have, I would have given up a long time ago.

dph
"nut I'm just a child" I love that. Mine say they are too tired a lot too and then I make them lay down. "Oh, you know what, you do look tired, you should lay down in your bed, a book? oh, no you're tired"

About 6 minutes later they get up and do it. Ha!

2vc
The tantrums drive me crazy too but I figure it's their path trying to figure out how to deal with frustration and not getting to do what you want all the time, isn't that the cornerstone of adulthood?

afreeman
good on you. Tantrums, not just for women and children anymore.

ariz-
Isn't the momspeak we all gravitate toward funny? You think you'll never be the irritated nag and the... I say to the kids a lot, you know, I don't like being a nag either so why don't you do us ALL a favour and do it the first time 'K. I'll let you know when that actually works.

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