Just the Facts Ma'am

Let me fill you in on highlights of the last few days.

1. My husband told me this afternoon that the Gerber Cheese puffs I got the baby are a gateway drug.

2. My son accompanied my husband to one of his freelance tech support gigs this evening. The customer also happens to be our family opthamologist. Our doctor is about 6 months pregnant and apparently my husband asked how she was feeling and told her she looked well, to which my son chimed in that, "pregnancy changes a woman's body forever and my mom's still trying to lose weight." The funny thing is, I am still trying to lose weight, I'm down to my pre-preggo weight but I was 15 pounds heavier than I should be when I got pregnant, but I never discuss losing weight or dieting in front of my kids and I've never told my son that pregnancy changes a woman's body forever. So what I'm wondering is who exactly is talking to my son about this, I know it's not my husband. Now I'm paranoid that it's someone like my mother-in-law, who suspiciously did not bake me a cake this year for my birthday, and had my kids over in the days just before my birthday. I can just see her saying,"Oh, let's not bake a cake for your mom, she's trying to lose weight but you know, pregnancy changes your body forever."

3.I couldn't sleep for the last three nights finally culminating in a good night sleep last night and I finally realized why I haven't been sleeping well the last few weeks. I was all worried about the three different 1st days of school, girl child's pre-k and a new part-time nanny hire that I was just praying would show up as she said she would and all her background checks(I found her on craigslist) would come back clean(they did). My third grader made it to on time, we took pics and apparently it went smashing, my daughter started her new amazing, wonderful, can't say enough good things pre-k after the Childtime Learning Center Giant Suckfest Debacle and the new nanny, amotherofsevenohmygodhowdoesshedoit? and I was home all day in case she needed anything and so I could check her out and she rocked the casbah. So finally, a girl can get some rest around here 'cause you know, it's not like I just had surgery or anything.

4.My husband gave my son a haircut on Tuesday for school, he's seen me do it and wanted a crack at it(I think he thought he could improve on it). I was game, I had plenty to do and it was, after all the boy child, we could always shave him down if things went awry. Well, first mow in with the clippers, I hear my husband say, "this is harder than it looks," and I knew we were in trouble. In the past I kind of gave him a bowl/skater boy cut long all around but short at the neck, well, hubs, left the back 'bowl' part but cut the front real short and it didn't totally come together. When he was done, it was kind of mushroom like and hubs said he looked like something I am not allowed to repeat here per an official directive from the husband. Anyhow, hubs took him to this new more super than supercuts for men and boys only place that fixed them both up real good and pretty cheap

5. I'm glad, for them and for me, that the kids are back in school. It was a great summer but I'm over it.

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Anonymous said... September 5, 2008 at 3:57 AM  

He's totally right about the cheese puffs.

Prok Aryot said... September 5, 2008 at 4:26 PM  

you are now the first thing I click on in my browser's drop down list. You have now surpassed TMZ in my OCD afternoon internet routine. Seriously funny woman...

formerly fun said... September 8, 2008 at 10:42 AM  

a free man-
I know, but it's my 4th line of defense when we are eating out at a restaurant, keeps her busy sucking all the cheesy goodness off.

Prok aryot-
Thank you, sincerely, not some hal-ass, yeah thanks whatever. I love making people laugh and that you would read me, given the vast array of great bloggers makes me hopeful. And ahead of TMZ, well, looks like I'm the shee-at, yipee.

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