Don't Be A Douchebag

Here's the copy since it's a little hard to read:

“Held in a web of indifference...”
Day after heartbreaking day I was held in an unyielding web...a web spun by my husband's indifference. I couldn't reach him any more! Was the fault mine? Well...thinking you know about feminine hygiene, yet trusting to the now-and-then care, can make all the difference in married happiness, as my doctor pointed out. He said never run such careless risks...prescribed “Lysol” brand disinfectant for douching—always.

“But I broke through it!”
Oh, the joy of finding Tom's love and close companionship once more! Believe me, I follow to the letter my doctor's advice on feminine hygiene...always use “Lysol” for douching. I wouldn't be satisfied now with salt, soda or other homemade solutions! Not with “Lysol,” a proved germ-killer that cleanses so gently yet so thoroughly. It's easy to use, too, and economical. The very best part is--”Lysol” really works!



Couple of things I want to comment on. First, since when was a good shower not good enough? Second, you don't need to disinfect your vagina. Third, I'm glad we only use Lysol on our floors now.

Fourth, when looking at all of the current ads for cellulite cream and wrinkles and yes, even feminine "care" products, and weight loss and deodorant, and fashion and even ads about stuff for kids and food, remember. Remember that making us feel bad, creating a fear that we smell if we don't douche, are unattractive if we have cellulite, unfeminine if we have small breasts, bad parents if our kids don't have certain things, is one of the oldest tricks in the book when it comes to creating a need for a product that you really have no need for. That and having a doctor tell you it's important.

What ads are we going to look at fifty years from now and shake our heads?

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12 comments:

Jan said... September 9, 2008 at 12:23 PM  

I really don't know what we will look back on 50 years from now but I do know that it will hard to top putting Lysol in the girly goodies.

Gypsy said... September 9, 2008 at 1:42 PM  

Should I stop using Fantastik on my coochie, then? Damn. ;)

Megan said... September 9, 2008 at 1:46 PM  

AUGH.

RiverPoet said... September 9, 2008 at 4:45 PM  

I had no idea they marketed Lysol for THAT!? In one of my Comm classes we talked about advertising campaigns. Wyeth had one back in the 60s about women needing tranquilizers. Wish I could find that one for you...

It really ticked me off.

D

GirlGriot said... September 9, 2008 at 8:06 PM  

O M G ! !

Unfuckingbelievable.

And I thought I was speechless before!

Rassles said... September 9, 2008 at 10:14 PM  

Wait, you can't douche with Lysol anymore?

(Oh. Car ads.)

SSG said... September 10, 2008 at 1:22 AM  

Quality! Was just watching a TV show in the UK last night about teenagers and their impression of 'normal' bodies. They all chose the surgically enhanced/ tailored chest and gentialia that was from a porn star as "normal" and real body parts they desrcibed as "saggy" "too big" "too small" "too pale" and more... no wonder 92% of teenage girls are unhappy with their bodies, people have a rubbish sense of what is 'normal' nowadays... To think we look back and think people binding their feet for beauty was insane, do you think people will look back at us in 200 years time and think we're freaks for fillin our bodies with silicon and cutting our genitalia to make it look nice? hmm.. maybe that programme got to me a bit! But, yeah, advertising and movies don't do much for your self esteem, do they?!!

floridagirlinsydney said... September 10, 2008 at 4:43 AM  

My husband and I were just talking about this last night-- not lysol-ing Ladytown-- but the over-marketing of America.

Probably the most interesting thing about living in Australia has been the complete lack of over the top marketing. It was Fathers Day here this past Sunday and you wouldn't have even known it (I almost didn't)-- zero Fathers Day commercials, ads, etc.

It's kind of freaky-- mostly in a good way.

Bluestreak said... September 10, 2008 at 7:13 AM  

my guess is most of them will make us go WTF were we thinking?!

MJ said... September 10, 2008 at 8:54 AM  

:D Great post!

I think we'll definitely look back on all the clothing ads and think WTF????

I'm also hoping we look back on anti-aging cream ads and giggle, but it hasn't happened so far, and those products have been around forever.

MJ said... September 10, 2008 at 9:42 AM  

Good heavens!

It's another MJ!

Formerly Fun said... September 13, 2008 at 10:57 PM  

jan-
I can imagine Listerine maybe making douche back int he day, cause you know Listerine=fresh breath, Listerine could = fresh cha, but Lysol?

gypsy-
Your coochie's already Fantastik:)

megan-
I know, crizazy huh?

riverpoet-
Thanks for the lead, I tracked down a couple of doozies for another time.

girlgriot-
Seriously, right? It may not be perfect, but damn, we have come a long way.

rassles-
no babe, only douche with Classic Coke, right after sex, jump up and down. Then you won't get preggers or the herps. Again.

ssg-
That's sad because it's true.

floridagirlinsydney-
ladytown, I love it, in my biz I always need a new euphemism. Yes, America is so overmarketed, it creates a need for more shit you don't need. Our religionisn't Christianity, it's consumerism.

bluestreak-
Right? I'm putting my money on big pharma and the beauty industry.

mj, meet mj, and mj, meet mj

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