Oh No They Di'n't

Have you ever referred to anything a boy wore as 'panties'? Can't you just hear him saying, "But Mom, I don't want to be a model." I wonder what the rest of this kids life was like. ?Maybe something like this:


Here's my sample copy for this one:

Dad: Hey, has anyone seen my gun?
Mom: Oh yeah, I think the baby has it.

Child: Daddy, I'm afraid of the monsters under my bed.
Dad: Here honey, take Daddy's gun.

Misty says "I'm tired of being a nitetime soiler, I'm going to end it all."


Does this woman look stout to you? She might be hiding some junk in the trunk under there but judging from her waist, this woman's a size six. What exactly is stout anyhow? Is that like a combo of stubby and short, strep throat and gout? I'm confused.


Chubbies? I know things are a bit PC these days but Chubbies? Really? Did you know Lane Bryant started in the early 1900's as a maternity store but the introduction of plus-sizes eclipsed the maternity sales early on. "Chubbies" notwithstanding, at a time when few companies offered little more than wage, Lane Bryant offered profit sharing, pension, disability, group life insurance plans, and medical benefits. So somewhat progressive no?

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10 comments:

Jigsaw Youth said... September 26, 2008 at 12:54 PM  

hahaha oh my god what horrible ads, but soo funny! chubbies? stout? love em!

beth said... September 26, 2008 at 1:20 PM  

a gun in bed with your child, nice.

Gypsy said... September 26, 2008 at 1:34 PM  

I don't know what's worse, "chubbies" or "husky."

And in my world, stout is a beer.

A Free Man said... September 27, 2008 at 5:27 PM  

I'm I just dirty minded or are there all sorts of double entendres in those ads: chubbies, accidental discharge, staydry panties...

Bluestreak said... September 28, 2008 at 8:08 AM  

those are absolutely freaky. Where do you find these. The poor pre-pubescent with the diaper. How did he ever live that one down?

formerlyfun said... September 28, 2008 at 9:05 AM  

jigsaw youth-
Certainly some people take 'pc' language too far but I can see the value of not referring to someone in an ad as chubbie, ouch.

beth-
Doesn't every one arm their children? That's what will happen if Sarah Palin's elected:)

gypsy-
a beer yes, and chubby reminds me of an old friends husband who used to refer to his erections as chubby, as in, I popped a chubby. They are divorced now.

a free man-
Well, if the internets have taught me anything, it's that if you can conceive of a fetish, someone's doing it somewhere. If you googled hard enough, I bet you could find a pic of a grown man in those staydry panties.

bluestreak-
never want to be the kid in the diaper ad or the chick in the herps commercial.

Practically Joe said... September 29, 2008 at 9:56 AM  

Now if they put three of those ads together ...
"Stay Dry Panties" ... Don't wory about a "Chubby" ... "Accidental Discharge Impossible!"

thecusp said... September 29, 2008 at 3:27 PM  

Oh my. I get into trouble all the time for calling my husband's underwear his..."Man Panties". One time I even said it in front of his redneck friends. Right after saying he had a 'Man Crush' on Jim Cantori from the weather channel. God...it's like I'm torturing him as much as that kid in the 'Staydry panties' was tortured by his own parents.
"Johnny...put the panties on and let the nice man take your picture. We need the fuckin' money!"

Florida Girl In Sydney said... September 29, 2008 at 9:58 PM  

What the fuck was up with the kid in bed with a gun?

Hahaha- Free man.

And the word verification I'm about to type in almost spells "jizz"

Rassles said... September 30, 2008 at 11:59 AM  

I know some boys who need bed-wetting panties. But they're you know, like 28 years old. Drunken assholes. Passing out and pissing on my couch. Stop drinking so much.

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