Top 10 Ways to Avoid Getting the Mother-In-Law of the Year Award

1. Ask with a completely straight face, “Do you need us to come to the rehearsal dinner?”(yes, it's my and my husband's wedding she's referring to)

2. Give your 4 year old daughter a haircut without asking and take off 3 inches that you've spent the year carefully trimming and growing out.

3. Offer to pay for a cleaning lady for you.

4. Invite you to her house for a party and then ask you to bring your own food.

5. Tell you she'll "babysit" the kids, "if it helps you."

6. Call your house to talk to your husband precisely fifteen minutes before the kids go to bed so you are stuck getting three kids thru the bath/bedtime routine all by yourself while she holds him phone hostage.

7. Smoke a cigarette with your kids in the room, argue the impact of second-hand smoke.

8. Take your kids to the county fair, load 'em up with massive amounts of sugar, give them caffeinated soda, keep them up an hour past their bedtime and then drop them off and run.

9. Two words, ant farm.

10. Offer to change the baby before you leave her house for a long drive home and then put a swim diaper on instead of a regular diaper.(Note: if you are not a parent or haven't used swim diapers, the design of them is intended to let water(ie.pee) out and keep poops in so the diaper doesn't absorb all the pool water and become like 30 pounds, used on dry land, they are about as effective as leaving the baby with no diaper at all.)

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Anonymous said... July 16, 2008 at 1:26 PM  

D'you think she may be trying to tell you something?

Mother-OUT-law more like! Don't you just love them? My Dad's like that towards my husband - Aaargh!

Btw, the conversations between you and your husband are very entertaining - reminds me of someone I know.

MJ said... July 16, 2008 at 1:35 PM  

Hehehe. I don't have kids yet, but I let the FutureMIL watch my dog once. I don't know what she fed him while I was away, but when I got him home, he immediately hacked up something so horrible, I now have a permanent reminder at my front door to not let her keep him ever again.

Sandi said... July 16, 2008 at 4:48 PM  

My mother-in-law is still worse than yours.

Anonymous said... July 16, 2008 at 7:57 PM  

A haircut? Really? Wow.

formerly fun said... July 17, 2008 at 12:09 PM  

scatter- Mother-out-law, I like that. The He Said, She Said are real convos between the Mr. and I, note that it's he who is usually the funny one, though I tell a better joke, he is an engineer after all.

MJ-Yeah, if she can't properly look after the dog, the kids are certainly out. The MIL/DIL is one of the toughest relationships. My mother drives me crazy too but I can tell her to back off if it gets too bad. Even if I lose it with her, we have the whole 'I was in your body for 9 months you HAVE to love me' thing going for us. With MIL, it's all the same boundary issues, etc. and more but you don't have the same bond.

Sandi- I'd say it's definately possible, especially given your situation, raising the kids, making choices about things without your husband. She might have been rough from the start but losing someone important to everyone couldn't have made it any better. Maybe we can set up a cage match between yours and mine and let them fight it out:)

Stella, Yeah, I know. I stomped around our house like an angry chicken for a few days after that one. Can you say livid? I got over it, that's what my part-time Buddhism's good for.

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