Manscaping the Manzilian - Part 3
Thursday, July 31, 2008
I don't think I've ever seen a black man get pale before. He grimaced and yelped a little. His girlfriend laughed, "Now you see what I go through for you? And you thought it was going to be easy fool.” His manhood in question, he steeled himself against the next pull. To his credit, he didn't make a sound but his autonomic nervous system took over for him and he began sweating buckets.
Now to get a good wax and not have everything end up a sticky, gooey mess, you have to keep the area dry(hence the powder). So now I am intermittently waxing and mopping, and waxing and mopping. I'm working so hard now I'm sweating and between the two of us, the room has to be 90 degrees. A few more slathers and rips and I'm done with the top and move south.
Side note: For any of you who have had the brazilian, if your esthetician does not use hard wax you are being shafted(pun intended). Hard wax is a stripless wax that is used in the following way: a light coating of oil is smoothed over the skin, the wax is applied and as it cools, it shrink wraps the hair so when you pull it(no paper needed because it becomes plasticy) it removes the hair but keeps the skin from getting irritated. When it comes to waxing the testicles or the labia, this wax is essential or you can very easily end up with raspberries and torn/lifted skin.
This guy probably lost a bet
Waxing his mons pubis, was no big deal because besides the fact that there is less fatty tissue and it's hairier, it looks the same as it does on a woman. Now for the jumping off point. Yes, I was about to wax his guys.
Now lest you come to the same conclusion as my mother in law, that I am some sort of trollopy sex worker, know this. I am very comfortable with nudity, I am also very comfortable with people in general, especially when they are vulnerable because they are naked and I have my clothes on. I think it appeals to my introverted nature.
You know how your mom used to tell you when you were nervous about giving a speech that you should just imagine everyone naked in their socks and you wouldn't feel so intimidated? Well, that's how waxing is, you're sitting there naked on my table while I'm in the position of trying to make you feel comfortable.
So I smooth some oil over his skin(yes, I touched it/them, with gloved hands) and although I appear calm on the outside, I am so embarrassed. I've never been in a situation where a penis in front of me wasn't my plaything. I wasn't attracted to him or wishing the lights were dim and we were alone but the very fact that it wasn't sexual at all made it weird to be in the same room as a naked man, and his girlfriend. At this point, I am trying to be very professional and matter a fact, like, oh yeah, I do this all the time, nothing making me feel awkward here folks.
Plus on top of the discomfort of the intimacy of this service with a near stranger, I am now about to perform a service I never have before and that's enough to make anybody nervous. The first time you do anything is hard, even harder when there's nudity and pain involved. I am having visions in my head of pulling the wrong way and something coming off. But I always say, the worse the experience, the better the story later.(This adage got me through 15+ years of dating.)
So everything is oiled and I position his hand over the dignity towel covering his actual member and I have him pull everything taut toward him and start with the sac wax. The key here, I have learned, is to work in very small strips.
I smooth some wax on, let it cool and riiiip.
He is doing pretty good now because those natural pain endorphins have kicked in, his eyes are just sort of glazed over and he looks a bit shell-shocked. It takes me a while but he is nearly hair free, nearly.
One of the things that makes a brazilian a brazilian is the ass wax. Yes, if you haven't had the bum done you've been shortchanged. So when I was done with everything else, I told him what I tell the girls(I never wax people on their hands and knees like many estheticians, too degrading and not the best position anyhow), "bring your knees to your chest."
He says "what?" and I tell him that I'm going to wax his winker and that will complete the brazilian service. He looks pleadingly at his girlfriend and she returns it with a steely gaze, "oh just do it you've come this far."
The good thing about the butt wax is that although it is humiliating for some people because you know, that's where you poop, the good thing is, it hardly hurts at all. So reluctantly he gets in position and two easy rip rips later I am done.
I remove any wax residue left, smooth on some icy aloe gel to cool down his skin and tell them, "you're done, go ahead and get dressed and I'll meet you up front."
I go up front and slump down in my desk chair, not before grabbing a freezing cold diet coke from the little fridge. All of my adrenaline circuits were pumping full blast so now I am exhausted. Thank god I had my lab coat on because my shirt is soaked. I've perspired so much I am positively dehydrated.
I sit in my chair waiting for them and drinking my soda. There's one more thing I love about the brazilian. Though quite unnecessarily, many people must feel a bit bad that you've had to be so close to their naughty parts, moving aside lips, face to face with parts even their loved ones have never seen so close, in such bright light, so they tip great.
Adonis and his girlfriend come up front, he's no longer swaggering but looks more like a guy who's just had outpatient kidney surgery. He thrusts a thick wad of bills out toward me like it's hush money and I never see him again. There's nothing like your first time.