Supersize My Hostility

Ok, tomorrow is Friday and I'll be at work so in lieu of posting a carefully crafted piece of irreverent, slice-of-life humor, I'm giving you a verbatim account of my recent interaction with a Fast Food chain when I stopped to get a Diet Coke because the baby kept me up half the night and I needed to make sure I wasn't going to fall asleep while I waxed my clients lady business.(see hardly carefully crafted, in fact probably the longest run on sentence ever.)

Drive Thru Guy: “ Hi and Welcome to McBurger Sovereign, would you like to try our new signature Southwestern, Tuscan-style Buckin' Rodeo Breakfast Burger with supersize Bacon?”

Me: “No thank you, can --”

Drive Thru Guy: “Well, then how about our new Everyone Loves Chicken for Breakfast Fresh and Tasty Chicken Patty Melt Wrap?”

Me: “No, no thank you I'd just like a diet coke please.”

Drive Thru Guy: “Can I supersize that for you?”

Me: “No, I'd like a medium.”

Drive Thru Guy:” You can get a large for just 25 cents more.”

Me: “Fine, give me the large.”

Drive Thru Guy: “Do you want fries with that?”

Me: “No, really. Just the soda.”

Drive Thru Guy: “Okay ma'am, that will be $1.47, please drive around to the second window.”

So I drive around, have my money ready, get the soda, navigate the scary left turn to get me headed in the right direction and start cruising to work with just enough time to get there and set up. I find my straw, unwrap it, shove it in the plastic x on top of my soda and take a good long draw.(Spits it out) It's a fucking Coke, I hate sugar soda, hate the taste, abhor the calories, the film it leave on my teeth. I like the caffeine and the chemicals but no sugar. I cannot take another sip. Of course I don't have enough time to turn around and tell the asshat to get me what I ordered, no doubt I'd have to go through the Rodeo burger routine again and I don't have that kind of time. All I wanted was a little pick me up on a workday. I have the feeling a crack dealer would be more reliable with the customer service/product delivery.

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Anonymous said... July 18, 2008 at 7:45 AM  

We live in North Carolina where they spit on you when you say "unsweet tea". Everytime we order I sit at the window and taste it before we drive away. 7 times out of 10 I'm handing it back because it's sweet tea. Grrrr! Oxygen thieves, all of 'em!

MJ said... July 18, 2008 at 8:57 AM  

*giggle* I'm laughing at nukedad. I'm in GA, and I apparently am an abomination for not drinking sweet tea.

Anonymous said... July 18, 2008 at 8:58 AM  

I'm so irritated with you. Your blog is no longer funny. It's turned into the equivalent of a airplane barf bag- all you have done lately is spew your negativity all over your readers and then with a satisified burp, assume it's all in the interest of wit and hilarity.

Reform, or lose me forever.

lisa said... July 18, 2008 at 12:04 PM  

I'm the opposite. I can't stand diet pop. I am liable to go medieval if swallowed.

formerly fun said... July 18, 2008 at 12:10 PM  

Ouch. Ok,let's see, last several posts:

Irritating fast food exchange(yes, I was irritated so it's negative)

Advice for lovelorn(Just true, I also have lots of happily married clients, but no one wants to hear about them.)

Mother-in-law don'ts(Wait, is this commentator my mother -in-law?)

Funny piece about the weather and traffic in CA(maybe you have to live here to appreciate it)

Couple of conversations with my husband(all nice, cause we are)

Story of my first beau(sweet)

Trip to Chicago(granted a lot of family pics which are probably boring but not negative)

A couple of blogoperas

Birkin lady post(yes, this was not a 'positive, uplifting post, but I had something to say that was important to me)

Top 10 Reasons You'll Never Achieve Your Dreams(this is satire)

Fashion Faux Pas Commentary

More pictures of my kids

Dirty Movie Titles(Racy but not negative)

Cute cartoon

A nice piece about our upcoming trip to WI

A video of my bebe and cat(I guess he was batting at her so kind of negative)

Bio of old old codger cat

Story about hairy spa client(again, not 'uplifting' in any fundamental way but funny.)

I guess I'm not sure where your coming from unless a specific post hit a nerve.

Why don't you share with me what you liked, that will give me better insight. I have been doing some shorter 'list' post because we were on vaca but spewing negative, don't think so. I can't please everyone and while I enjoy that I have readers, I write for primarily for me.

Ed & Jeanne said... July 18, 2008 at 1:35 PM  

To quote Lethal Weapon 2..."They f**k you at the drive through..."

Anonymous said... July 18, 2008 at 3:01 PM  

I think the airlines are charging now for barf bags?


Prok Aryot said... July 18, 2008 at 4:34 PM  

I'm the anonymous lurker who likes to live vicariously through you because you are funny. That other anonymous commenter is just wrong. And mean. So, now, I'm going to have to identify myself. I wouldn't want to be mistaken for Mr./Ms. Meany Pants.

formerly fun said... July 18, 2008 at 5:38 PM  

nukedad/mj/Lisa- I have had the sweet tea debate before with some of my southern friends. The whole coke/diet coke, I think it's what you were raised on like Hellman's vs. Miracle Whip. My uncle was a dentist so I never got sugar drinks.

SD- Glad someone loves me.

Prok aroyt- Clever nom de plume:) and thanks for the vote of confidence. I post everyday in an effort to write consistently and not let writer's block get a foothold, some posts are going to better than others. Thanks so much for saying something nice.

I'm a big dork that I even care but I'm not the thickest skinned person. I thought about it for awhile and you know, if someone really enjoyed my blog and thought I was being Captain Crankypants, they could have done a, "I like it so much better when you did x,y,z, more of that please or get outta your funk chickie" or anything that was constructive in the least.

The snarky comment left by anonymous was designed to sting and was mean spirited with nothing constructive at all. And she thinks I'm negative?

And Ms. Anon(the mean one)
I'm rubber and your know the rest.

Queen Mutha said... July 23, 2008 at 12:19 PM  

God Speed, Anonymous. Not everyone can be there all the time to blow up your skirts. Real life happens.

Don't read my blog, it'll just bring you down.

formerly fun said... July 23, 2008 at 12:42 PM  

Cagequeen-Aren't they though? At least make up a name, it's still anonymous right? And it could be something funny like- signed, that girl who hates your blog but manages to read it most days in spite of her extreme dislike.

Queen Mutha- I would love the keys to the kingdom that is your 'other' blog. Maybe at some point after my review you'll share, I'd love to look up your skirt, uh, I mean behind the curtain.

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