1.You have not yet purchased The Secret.
2.Your mom was right, you are just like your father.
3.One word, X-Box.
4.The world isn't ready for the Oprah of Tel Aviv.
5.Your parents never told you, but you are actually a little retarded.
6.Masturbation will never be an Olympic sport.
7.You can't tear yourself away from Lolcats.
8.You didn't commit to achieving the goal by writing it down and reevaluating it often, just kidding, it's cause no one likes you.
9.You've never finished anything.
10.