Spankenstein
Sunday, June 29, 2008

My childhood friend Stef and I used to while away the hours frequently stoned in creative pursuit of all things hilarious(to us).

We'd make up alternate verses to the Diarrhea Song, you know, the song that goes, "When you're sliding into home, and your pants are filled with foam, diarrhea." Our version included gems like, "when you're visiting a castle, and a chamber pots a hassle, diarrhea", and "when your sphincter's in the ruins cause you ate too many prunes, diarrhea." Anyhow, you get the picture.

We would do other random things like catalogue the entire contents of our purses and write Haiku using these items. For example:

lipstick, tampon, lovenote
swimming in ciggarette flakes
our lives at sixteen

Stef and I would make up alternate identities complete with accents and stay in character all night. Our accents vascillating between rough approximations of Russian and French. Oh, how many times we convinced strangers we were from Belgium(almost no one knows what Belgians sound like).

We would also come up with porn names for mainstream movies. So for all you movie buffs(pun intended), I've compiled a list. Get your Christmas lists ready, many of these are real films.

Titty Slickers
A Clockwork Orgy
Single White Shemale
Butch Lesbian and the Lapdance Kid

3 comments:

Anonymous said... June 29, 2008 at 9:32 PM  

If laughing at those is wrong, I don't wanna be right. Inside, I am a 10 year old boy. Rock on, sister.

Anonymous said... June 30, 2008 at 8:58 AM  

Arf! arf!

Anonymous said... June 30, 2008 at 7:55 PM  

Shaving Ryan's Privates? Isn't this what you do on Fridays?

Post a Comment