What I Know For Sure

My husband lost his job on Tuesday. The consulting firm he's worked for the last few years appears to be shutting down after the cancellation of a major contract and no new projects on the horizon. We are still paying down exorbitant medical bills from both of our hospitalizations. Business at the spa is slow, the luxuries I sell are one of the first things to go when people face financial woes. And yet, I am strangely calm. And infinitely thankful.

Of course I had a moment of self-pity, the exhalation of that feeling of yet another setback just as we'd recovered from the last one. That momentary sense that as the dust settles and we take a deep breath, fate throws us another curve ball, but it was fleeting. It was quickly replaced with a sense that we'll be fine, whatever that means. We have an awfully large safety net, in the form of our own careful financial planning and the larger safety net that is our families. I thought for a moment about the people losing jobs or facing other economic uncertainty already treading water, just a few short paychecks away from catastrophic problems.

This bad news has also left me with a sense of solidarity and perspective. My husband and I are a really good team. It doesn't hurt that I could live in a trailer with that man eating crappy vegetarian meatloaf and buying clothes at the goodwill and as long as he told me I was beautiful and looked at me the way he does and held me when I go all neurotic on him, as long as we were together, we would be okay. After this year's medical woes, particularly his, I am reminded that this is the only thing that is important. Everything else is tangential.

I used to deal most poorly with uncertainty. I have spent many a time comforted by a sense that I have control of things, losing my mind when I felt like things were out of my hands. I've reached a point where I guess I understand that all of the really important things are out of my hands anyhow. I know we'll do all of the things we need to, our part to fix this, it goes without saying. I have faith in our ability to get past nearly anything thrown our way. So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for being in a place where I trust us. The rest will unfold however it will, but I trust us and that's the only thing I know for sure.

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Anonymous said... November 27, 2008 at 12:45 AM  

you guys are GREAT! Go TEAM! happy thanksgiving!

PS good luck with the jobs and all that, but as you say, you guys are really bigger than that

Anonymous said... November 27, 2008 at 7:21 AM  

I totally get that. Hellbilly and I call ourselves 'The A Team'...because we are when it comes to this beautiful thing called 'us'. Together in whatever needs to be faced. Not without fear or floundering. But together.
My best to both of you in all of this. And I'm positive Hellbilly would send the same, as he's always up for sending love to another couple that's on the path.

Spatula said... November 27, 2008 at 12:02 PM  

Go Team Formerly! And you would totally rock the goodwill look, but I am just as confident it won't come to that. {{{ }}} <- internet hug.

Anonymous said... November 28, 2008 at 12:10 PM  

Tell hubs my offer still stands!
150 for the whole lot (he'll understand what I mean).
But in all seriousness, sorry to hear that, hope all is well. Glad you guys have a decent cushion despite icky medical bills. If I got the boot from work, my cushion would last me about...mmm.. 1 month and a half =( Happy gobble day.
If you tell the little one that her uncle is coming over to steal her frog and then re-gift it back to her for Christmas, I shall understand and take one for the team!

Gypsy said... December 1, 2008 at 8:17 AM  

I'm so sorry he lots his job, but so glad that you two have each other.

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