He Said, She Said - 6

Conversations With My Husband
My husband had a very bad day at work and is completely frustrated but can't talk to me because I'm finishing some important stuff for work. He is feeding the baby in the kitchen and I hear him mumbling angrily.
Me: (confused)Honey, who are you talking to?
Him: I'm just venting to the baby.

As I'm looking over my website statistics
Me: Wow, I had over 289 visitors on a Sunday.
Him: (In his best Austin Powers voice) Does that make you horny baby?
Me: You know, it actually does.

As I'm flummoxed about what to write about now that everyone's read my manzilian wax story.
Me: What if I'm tapped out?
Him: Huh?
Me: Where is there to go after talking about waxing balls?
Him: Wuh?
Me: What if I run out of stuff to talk about?
Him: Oh, you'll never run out of stuff to talk about, believe me, I know, it's never going to happen, never, cause you know, you have so much to say.
Me: Oh stop trying to say clever things to get in my blog.

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Bimbo Baggins said... August 4, 2008 at 10:17 AM  

LOL, I wish I had a funny husband. Well...I wish I had a husband. No I don't. Maybe. I'll stop arguing with myself in your comments...I'll go be crazy somewhere else.

Captain Steve said... August 4, 2008 at 10:27 AM  

Shmpf. Venting to the baby. Awesome.

Anonymous said... August 4, 2008 at 10:41 AM  

Be crazy here dirty pirate hooker, it's more fun for all of us. As for husbands, I like mine but there's lots of yuk ones out there, don't make one your dirty pirate pimp until they earn it.

captain steve- you knw how sometimes you just need to say stuff out loud in front of a person to figure out how you're feeling? That's totally what he was doing and it was funny because my 9month old bebe was operating as a stand in for me.

Bimbo Baggins said... August 4, 2008 at 10:56 AM  

Thanks formerlyfun...glad my crazy can be entertaining for everyone. I have lots of dirty pirate pimps...I am a hooker afterall. But haven't quite found the that makes me want to stop my whoreing yet. Well...maybe I have. Only time will tell on that one!

But I love your blog. You're totally funny and I just might have to go to you for a brazillian. I am pretty close to you afterall.

RiverPoet said... August 4, 2008 at 11:08 AM  

The Manzilian story is hard to top. Even my husband loved it! But I'm sure there are other goodies in your bag (i.e., heaviest client, nastiest client, person who farted during wax...etc.)

You won't disappoint...Peace - D

formerly fun said... August 4, 2008 at 11:40 AM  

dph- You so should come get waxed, then you could do a guest post on how formerlyfun made you formerlyfuzzy.

rp-I have a couple of those up my sleeve for sure.

dph- You know, I haven't seen any visible std's, yet, thank god, but since I do what I do, people are always asking me to look at something on their vagina to see if it's normal. And not just at work either, just in general. It's kind of a problem for me, like getting asked for autographs all the time, except it's not paper and a pen, you know?

Bimbo Baggins said... August 4, 2008 at 12:26 PM  

LMAO!!! That's hilarious about people asking you to look at weird stuff.

Ok, I will totally come and do it and give a guest post. We could even do pictures...I'm not modest. I wouldn't be a good hooker if I was, right?

Anonymous said... August 5, 2008 at 2:06 AM  

LOL - I love that other people have funny husbands too!

Venting to the baby? Mine vents to the dogs!!

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