Don't Cha Think Your Savior Is Hot Like Mine?

Clearly I am getting smited? smoted? for my 'Rock Me Sexy Jesus" post yesterday.

So it's Sunday and the God Squad showed up at our house bright and early wanting to know if we had accepted Jesus Christ as our personal savior. Personal savior? It looked like Jesus Christ was their personal trainer.

Clearly this was the Southern California God Squad because they were sex-xy. Sexy on the Sunday Sabbath has got to be a sin of some sort in the good book or the bad book or some kind of book.

There were three of them, a mom that looked like one of the women straight out of the Real Housewives of Orange County except like 15 years younger, and two tweener girls that looked like the Ashley twins in the days before anorexia and Bea Arthur like mu-mus.

You know if they really want to convert people, maybe they're on to something. I looked at them as they droned on, sounding to a still sleepy me like all of the adults on the Charlie Brown specials, “Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah.” and in my head I had visions of them breaking into some pageant routine of “Don't You Wish Your Savior Was Hot Like Mine?”a la the Pussycat Dolls if they were all blonde-haired, blue-eyed. Yep, Pussycat Dolls for Christ. Thank god my husband didn't answer the door, we'd already be converted.

I put in Don't Cha Savior & miraculously(ha, ha) I found this, I love google.
This is kinda the song I heard in my head while they were all like, "Wah-wah, well, not quite but an interesting rendition nonetheless.

Here's the Lyrics For You(in case you don't want to listen 5 times like I did to soak it all in.

I know you're faithful
I know you pray
But I'm here to tell you that brother
You've been led astray
You've got a cleric
Or a rabbi
When it comes to judgement day you'll be left high and dry
Don't cha wish your savior was right like mine
Don't cha wish your diety could turn water to wine, don't cha, don't cha
Don't you think your Buddha is a little off
Don't cha wish your Allah was great like God

Don't cha think I'm totally going straight to hell? See you there!

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Megan said... August 17, 2008 at 10:21 AM  

Terrifying. And not in a good way.

~Mountain Lover~ said... August 17, 2008 at 11:31 AM  

Damn, that was good. They should seriously consider taking it on tour.

I do have a concern. Sunday is a day of rest and church. Why were they out proselytizing on the day of rest? Clearly they're heathens. Or Adventists. And I don't know which is worse.

Unknown said... August 17, 2008 at 1:29 PM  

I'm totally gonna have nightmares!

Anonymous said... August 17, 2008 at 8:07 PM  

That is absolutely fantastic and I really needed that today!

Anonymous said... August 17, 2008 at 8:35 PM  

Anyone else think that boy might be a, uhm, how should I put this? That one day that boy might have a career in, oh, that doesn't work either. Maybe he's a little light in the, that's prejudicial. Anyhow, maybe he's gay. "Hi my names Bobby and I'm an evangelical Christian, oh and I want to sleep with men, is that okay?

Floaterie said... August 18, 2008 at 4:37 AM  

holy shit---did you hear the dude at the end encouraging their gyrating? That's when a shuddered. A lot. ick.

and I'm sure my basket is big enough for two--your more than welcome to make the decent with me. ;-)

Jan said... August 18, 2008 at 5:25 AM  

Dang...don't know what scared me more, The God Squad or My God is better than your God video.

Captain Steve said... August 19, 2008 at 8:42 AM  

Awwwwwww. Now I'm going to hell for laughing maniacally at two little kids (one of whom. . . yeah, that was a boy?) singing about Jesus and the Pussycat Dolls and awwwwwww. Damn.

Arizaphale said... August 21, 2008 at 6:40 AM  

I am speechless (and that in itself is surprising). Let me see, Christan children whispering erotically into phallic mikes whilst singing derisory, elitist lyrics to a downright dirty tune. Geez. What is wrong with this picture?
What happened to singing 'Jesus Loves Me, this I know', like we did in MY day????

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