When Mama's Happy Everyone's Happy

I feel bad for admitting this, but before I had kids, I thought that women with children consciously gave up when it came to their looks. I would look at the greasy hair that was long overdue for a color touch up, the ragged nails, the cracked heels, the stained clothes, the stretchy pants, ugly bras and granny panties and think I'd never become that complacent. Then of course one day, a few months after giving birth I looked down at my feet, usually soft and neatly polished, now rough and dry, my pedicure so old the polish had grown almost all the way out. I had at least clipped them from time to time only for the sake of comfort. I was in sore need of a haircut and color and my brows had resorted back to the shape I had in 7th grade before my mom relented and let me tweeze them. I wore what really amounted to pajamas now considered clothes. No wonder I felt like a mental patient, I certainly looked like one. Of course I had figured out that no one consciously gives up, you just get tired and busy doing other things, more important things(because our things don't seem important) until little by little we turn into that woman we promised ourselves would never be us. I looked in the mirror for the 1st time in a long time, I mean really looked and I hardly recognized myself. I marched out to the garage where my husband was tidying up. “ You need to leave, and you need to take the kids with you,” I demanded. “Ok,” he said cautiously, “where do we need to go?” “Anywhere, I don't care but if you ever want to have sex again you need to go somewhere for at least four hours and let me salvage this,” I said, now almost in tears,” this,” I choked out, motioning contemptuously from my head to my feet. “I need to feel like a girl again.” “Ok,” he said stepping back. As soon as the last of them had their shoes on and the door closed behind them I went about it. I'm a beauty professional(la di da) so I can do most of the work myself, I usually entrust my own stylist but today I didn't have time for appointments, I just needed to make this better. I touched up my roots, I soaked, scrapped, sawed, buffed, and polished my feet until they looked like mine instead of extras from the Lord of the Rings. I hopped in the shower, I shaved my legs, deep-conditioned my hair and exfoliated. I got out and got my eyebrows back in order, put on a little makeup and put on the nicest thing I had that actually fit. This whole process took almost the entire four hours. I still didn't feel completely like myself, but I was a lot closer. These days, with three kids, it's still a struggle to carve out time to take care of myself, be it hair appointments or doctor's appointments, and yes, I still feel selfish sometimes. Thankfully, my husband reminds me to see the doc and encourages me to make time for the things that make me feel good about myself, always saying the same thing, when mama's happy, everyone's happy.

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Anonymous said... June 1, 2008 at 3:06 PM  

Hellz ya! Grooming is highly therapeutic. And a useful mama is a happy, content mama who doesn't constantly fight the urge to abandon the children on the steps of a Jehovah's Witness Centre. Right? Right?

Lorrie Veasey said... June 1, 2008 at 4:55 PM  

I have also found that a box of donuts can be a great diversion from underarm hair. I'm just sayin.

Anonymous said... June 1, 2008 at 8:34 PM  

You just have to be sure that box of donuts doesn't turn into a box of donuts and a box of wine. I know a few of those moms.

Victoria said... June 2, 2008 at 4:26 AM  

Wow- and this is what I wrote about today too- it's crazy. I thought the same things. My husband is great about this stuff too but sometimes i am envious of my friends with no kids who seem so care free and have so much time on their hands and extra cash to keep up with the waxings and pedicures... or hours to shop sans stroller nad goldfish throwing toddler.


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