Performance Review For My Wife
Friday, May 30, 2008





Ok, I'm breaking from tradition and allowing a guest poster. In response to his performance review, my husband sent me the following:


Performance Review for My Wife

Areas Requiring Attention
1.You had the baby seven months ago, no more risk of Toxoplasmosis. I think it's time you start changing OUR cat's litter box or is this duty permanently mine now?

2.I'll start putting the condiments back in the door after you stop clogging the garbage disposal with your diet coke-soaked lemons.

3.You don’t need to tell me what I can make for dinner when you're gone, don’t worry, if I can’t figure something out, I always know where the Spagettios and veggie hotdogs are.

4.OMG, can we watch something besides BRAVO, the Real Housewives, Top Chef, Project Runway, are you trying to make me gay?

5.Can we just once watch Star Trek without you eyes rolling back in your head. And I have to rub your back whenever we watch sci-fi, who made up that rule?


Competencies
1.Do you remember the 36+ hours you labored with our last child(I'm sorry stupid question), yeah well, I could never have done that.

2.That thing you did on my birthday, that was good. More you say? Yes please.

3.Thank you for being an expert in the field of Brazilian waxing, really, thank you.

4.Your homemade pizzas are a source of extreme pleasure, I'm a man, my needs are simple.

5.Thanks for seeing my frequent groping of you for the affection it is.

6.Don't think for a minute that I don't realize that we'd all be naked, hungry and searching for the toilet paper(because no one else puts it on the roll)without you.

7.I love you more everyday -- you amaze me with your mommasity, smartitudes and cutipieness.

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4 comments:

Queen Mutha said... June 1, 2008 at 5:49 PM  

I love this so much!!

formerly fun said... June 3, 2008 at 12:40 PM  

Thanks, and btw hot ass photo, Me-ow. Thankfully, he is that great in real life. Kissed some frogs but eventually fixed my picker.

Mrs. Case said... June 5, 2008 at 2:51 PM  

GREAT post!!

Bimbo Baggins said... August 22, 2008 at 2:04 PM  

ugh, whatever. I want one.

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