Out of the Frying Pan and Into My Bed

I have a mad crush on Gordon Ramsey. He is the chef responsible for the BBC show Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares and Fox’s Hell’s Kitchen. His foul-mouthed arrogance and short fuse make me want to do bad things with him. I want him to boss me around, I want him to yell at me, tell me my food is shit and remind me that uncooked chicken kills people. I think I secretly want him to break me down and build me back up, work me over and then praise the resulting transformation. He is mmm, delicious. What is wrong with me? It is so masochistic. I told my husband about this fantasy of mine but perhaps in part by our lack of proximity(Gordon isn’t our next door neighbor after all) he doesn’t seem to be the least bit threatened. Anyhow, I know he thinks Nigella Lawson is a sex pot so we’re even. The only way the show could be any better is if Chef Ramsey was allowed to spank you when you screwed up. I wonder if they are casting for season three yet.

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Anonymous said... June 2, 2008 at 5:03 PM  

Urin is sterile. Unless the urinator in question has a bladder infection, there's no need to worry about germs. And remember, pee can save your life: if you get metal stuck to your skin in a -30 degree artic wilderness, pee on it to get it off. If you get stung by jelly fish, pee on it to reduce pain. You can even drink your own pee in a pinch to stave off dehydration.

- A boy.. with a brazilian wax and pedicure.

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