What I Learned About Women From Vintage Advertising

If you drive a Maserati, a pretty woman would like nothing more than to hold your shaft and give you...a driving lesson.

See the one that's winking at you? She's winking because she's gonna give you the herps and then use that pistol to steal your wallet. Be warned fellas, girls with spiders in their lady business wink a lot.

I'm not exactly sure what they are selling here. Plate collecting? Mousse? Fear of brazilian waxing? Retro-crotch? Merkins?

Santa is a perv and perhaps a stocking fetishist.

InsetDo you want to know that this guy is thinking about how to get more innovative with crotchless panties? Frederick's of Hollywood was wise to drop Mr. Frederick from their ad copy. Looks too much like a FBI Wanted Poster picture.

This is what happens to cougars?

The ad copy reads

"...After one look at his Mr. Leggs slacks, she was ready to have him walk all over her...If you'd like your own doll to doll carpeting, hunt up a pair of these He-Man Mr. Leggs slacks."

This ad tells me that if you have fancy pants it's ok to stand on a pretty lady's head.

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Arizaphale said... February 27, 2010 at 4:28 AM  

OK, that first photo is you in a previous life isn't it??? As for Mr Fredericks...sheesh....what were they thinking? And I haven't heard the word 'merkin' since I played the part of 'Moll Merkin' in a music hall show...not a pubic wig in sight!!!

well read hostess said... March 2, 2010 at 5:19 PM  

I think that one chick, the one in the bikini, has Bob Ross stuffed down her bathing suit.

formerly fun said... March 2, 2010 at 6:56 PM  

Arizaphale- I wish! And who is this Moll Merkin you speak of:)

WRH- Bob Ross is that painting guy isn't it? I can see the resemblance.

MJ said... March 8, 2010 at 6:34 AM  

That last one... just... WOW.

Cold Spaghetti said... March 9, 2010 at 7:40 AM  

What, you don't want to be fancy for HIM?


I'm hoping that in 30 years, we can look back at those current ads and see them as ridiculous as the one with Mr. Frederick. And Leggs.

Anonymous said... May 25, 2010 at 6:30 PM  

Those are just disgusting. Specially that last one. :x

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