He Said, She Said

He Said, She Said

Me(wistfully as I watch our two girls frolic in the tub): I wish I had a sister.
Him: I can pretend to be your sister.
Me: It's not the same.
Him: Come on, try me. Tell me something you'd tell your sister if you had one.
Me: Ok, rambling, dissecting, analyzing, feelings, blah, blah, overwhelmed, blah, blah, more feelings.
Him: (using his hands to mime pigtails on the sides of his head) Let's make out.

Do It Yourself

So we had a rare free Saturday without the kids(thank you Grandma) and I had to work until about 2pm. I was running down the husband's honey do list, making sure he knew I wanted some things done around the house.

"Don't sit around all morning lazing about, looking at porn and doing whatever it is you do when I'm gone until you get my list done, I admonished him.

"I'm not going to sit around and masturbate all day", he chided me like he does when I act like he can't get anything done without me directing him.

So I grab my lunch, leave the house and get in the car before I realize I left my cell in the house. His office window is right at the front of the house so he can see me coming back. As I open the front door, he's standing right there, with his pants down, holding our poor beagle up against him.

"We're stuck, honey, uh, can I get a hand here, I'm stuck in the dog."

I was still laughing when I got to work.

Stumble Upon Toolbar



Heather said... November 17, 2009 at 8:24 PM  

Really? You're fibbing.

formerly fun said... November 17, 2009 at 8:53 PM  

To be clear, he wasn't actually doing anything to the dog. But he did pretend to doink the dog for comic effect, which reminded me why I married him.(Because he makes me laugh not because he pantomimes assaulting the family pet.)

Chamuca said... November 17, 2009 at 9:18 PM  

I might have a crush on your husband.

Ginny said... November 17, 2009 at 9:36 PM  

"Let's make out".

You are a lucky, lucky woman.

I think.

Dan said... November 17, 2009 at 10:44 PM  

Pretty impressive banter going on there.

I tend just to grunt and point at my wife.

Le Meems said... November 18, 2009 at 10:35 AM  

OMG I wish my sister w o u l d ma-

wait. I don't wanna make out with my sister.

wait. I feel all awkward inside now.

Sandi said... November 19, 2009 at 6:42 AM  

I think I'm in love with your husband.

Rassles said... November 20, 2009 at 10:52 AM  

Man, I NEVER talk to my sister about stuff. Never. I see all these people sharing things with their sisters and all I can think is, "Who would tell secrets to their sister?"

Because sisters are totally lame.

I would rather have your husband than my sisters.

Okay, maybe not.

A Free Man said... November 22, 2009 at 5:16 PM  

Sisters suck. I'd happily trade mine in for a brother.

And thanks for the explanation on the dog thing because, well, I was slightly disturbed.

greenbean said... November 29, 2009 at 7:14 PM  

ah crappola, it's been that long?! Last I checked you guys had cats, now there's a dog? Oye, I really have to set up an appointment to visit now =)

Post a Comment

Ajax CommentLuv Enabled fc364964f7fd2cca9729ec8fc1ef9641