Mama Sings the Blues

I had applied flea prevention to our three animals. I had trimmed printed pictures, written notes, stamped and addressed envelopes to send pictures of the kids to the great grandmas, both of whom are computer literate but not print literate. I had called to refill prescriptions. I had filled out the bebe's preschool paperwork, dug up her vaccination card. I had counted the cash from about twelve chacha waxes and put it in an envelope for my five year old's preschool for the month. I had deposited checks from the spa and my husband's paycheck. I had finally sent a wedding gift for a wedding I attended in June. I had put new sheets on the bed, gave my nine year old his to do list and fed the bebe her lunch.

All I wanted to do was sit for twenty minutes and eat my Greek salad in relative calm and quiet.

Though her belly should have been full, the vinegar soaked tomatoes with flecks of mint on them were too much for the bebe to ignore.

"More pillows mama, more pillows."

This is how she asked for the tomatoes out of my salad. I put a small tomato on my fork and give it to her, straight in the mouth careful not to drip on the fresh sheets since I am sitting on my bed eating my lunch looking over spa paperwork. Maybe this is why I have a hard time sleeping in my bed.

While I turn a piece of paper over to read the back side, the bebe has taken the tomato out of her mouth and examined it before wiping her hands on my just-cleaned sheets. I look right through the large watery red smear on the sheets that were pristine just seconds ago. It's my fault, I shouldn't have been in here eating.

I just wanted to eat my lunch.

I hurriedly finish what I can, the quiet lunch a pipe dream. I put the bowl on my dresser, too high for the bebe to reach and try to finish my paperwork so I can cross one more thing off the Sisyphean list that replicates itself each day.


The bowl is on the floor, not broken but the remaining vinaigrette has splashed the carpet. The cat had quietly snuck up on the dresser to lick out the small bits of leftover feta cheese spotting the bowl.

I just wanted to eat my lunch.

I don't even have the urge to cry about this small stuff anymore. Instead I put the bowl in the sink, get the resolve and wipe down the carpet. I take a deep breath and remind myself that parenthood is a package deal. You cannot have everything you want and have them too. I remind myself that when they are gone, on their own living their lives, I will eat my lunch in peace probably wishing for the noise and the small dirty hands and the clamors to share my food, my space, my body.

But today I just wanted to eat my lunch.

Lest you think I lament too much, here's the trade off for my hurried lunch and messy bed.
Bebe Sings the Blues

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erin said... August 10, 2009 at 1:43 PM  

Egads, I read your post and I was thinking 'That sucks'. Then I started listing everything I did today and have to do before tomorrow and I thought 'That sucks'.

The video is super cute though!

Gypsy said... August 11, 2009 at 7:39 AM  

That's worth a little tomato spill, eh?

Supper Daddy said... August 11, 2009 at 6:59 PM  

I'll take you to lunch tomorrow. Just you and I :-)

A Free Man said... August 12, 2009 at 5:41 AM  

God, tell me about it. The messing. It's constant and drives me nuts. But then, then they do something like my future daughter-in-law and you remember it's all worthwhile. Mostly.

Shelley Jaffe said... August 12, 2009 at 8:36 AM  

Well, now you've seen my family; living proof that childhood speeds by at a meteoric pace until they're taller than you and smarter than you. I've come to believe, in these last precious days when we're all under the same roof that there is a fond memory engrained in the spilled crap on the carpet just as much as there is in raucous laughter around the dinner table.

As as for Bebe? I think she is ready for a viral YouTube - if you can dress her up as a kitten, she will be a surefire hit!!

Arizaphale said... August 12, 2009 at 2:32 PM  

*sigh* It's like a long tunnel when you're in it but it does whizz by so fast. Except for boys. Boys are in the tunnel for EVAH!!!!!!:-(

Blues said... September 6, 2009 at 7:37 AM  

I eat in bed too. It's just such a good spot to sit with my laptop and lunch. But yeah, it makes for more frequent sheet washing.

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