He Said, She Said
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
He Said, She Said
Me(wistfully as I watch our two girls frolic in the tub): I wish I had a sister.
Him: I can pretend to be your sister.
Me: It's not the same.
Him: Come on, try me. Tell me something you'd tell your sister if you had one.
Me: Ok, rambling, dissecting, analyzing, feelings, blah, blah, overwhelmed, blah, blah, more feelings.
Him: (using his hands to mime pigtails on the sides of his head) Let's make out.
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Do It Yourself
So we had a rare free Saturday without the kids(thank you Grandma) and I had to work until about 2pm. I was running down the husband's honey do list, making sure he knew I wanted some things done around the house.
"Don't sit around all morning lazing about, looking at porn and doing whatever it is you do when I'm gone until you get my list done, I admonished him.
"I'm not going to sit around and masturbate all day", he chided me like he does when I act like he can't get anything done without me directing him.
So I grab my lunch, leave the house and get in the car before I realize I left my cell in the house. His office window is right at the front of the house so he can see me coming back. As I open the front door, he's standing right there, with his pants down, holding our poor beagle up against him.
"We're stuck, honey, uh, can I get a hand here, I'm stuck in the dog."
I was still laughing when I got to work.
Labels: he said, He's all mine., she said
He Said, She Said - 3
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Conversations With My Husband
As we are hunkering down to watch a little television after dinner.
Him: Do you want to watch another episode of Star Trek?
Me: No, but I'm going to get rid of the captain's log here in a minute.
As we watch Love in the time of Cholera with Javier Bardiem during a scene where he's weeping after being jilted by his lover.
Me: That's so sad, she totally broke his heart.
Him: Yep, that's why he had to kill all those people in No Country For Old Men.
While we are watching television and an interview comes on with the Penis Puppeteers.
Me: Oh, remember these guys, these are the guys that twist their junk 'til it looks like things like a wristwatch and cheeseburger?
Him: Oh yeah, kind of like the Vagina Monologues, where they get the vaginas to talk?
Me: That is not what the Vagina Monologues are.
He Said, She Said - 2
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Conversations With My Husband 
As I am appropriating random images for my blog.
As we lay in bed one night and hear the tinkling of chains as someone walks their dog outside.
Me: I'm gonna blog that you know.
After watching The Mist( a Stephen King movie about wierd attacking tentacle things).
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