He Said, She Said (and the Bebe Said)


Him: You're my little ciabatta.
Me: What?
Him: I said you're my little ciabatta.
Me: I'm your bread?
Him: Well if you can call me Dagwood than I should be able to call you my little ciabatta.
Me:What you really mean is ciabutta.
Him: Fine, now I'm going to put my panini in your ciabutta?
Me: Too many carbs no thanks.

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Me(speaking the militant feminist manifesto): A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
Him: Well than I guess you are one bicycle riding fish.

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The Bebe, as babies do, is making connections and learning a slew of new words each day. She makes generalizations so the word 'draw' becomes the word for everything related to drawing, the paper, the pencils, the crayons and the completed pictures themselves. She has finally learned the names of all of the fruit rather than call everything round 'apple.' She still, however, connects everything with long blonde hair to me. So when she holds her sisters Hanna Montana alarm clock, she points at the sixteen year old blonde and says "Mama" matter of factly. Same goes for Barbie, look "Mama" she says to her sister, pushing the Barbie in her sister's face. That's not Mom, her sister says like I'm the furthest thing from Barbie.(I know, I know, it's time for a touch up on the highlights, I'm doing the best I can). Is it a sign of my desire to conform to ideal beauty types that it makes me feel just a little bit good that my daughter think I can pass for a teen superstar and an unrealistic female archetype? Probably, but I will consider these comments like armor for the ones to come. Like when my now five year old said she hopes her butt is big like mine when she grows up. Or when she looked at my wedding pictures and said, Mom you are so skinny then. Sigh, have you been talking to your father?

Speaking of fathers, the bebe also generalizes in the Daddy department. What does Daddy get compared to? The Blues Clues guy gets called Daddy, Kai-lan's grandpa and yes, even the chocolate-skinned, orange jump suited Yo-Gabba-Gabba guy.


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10 comments:

Rassles said... July 8, 2009 at 9:09 AM  

Man, I fucking LOVE Yo Gabba Gabba.

formerlyfun said... July 8, 2009 at 9:26 AM  

Izzy thinks he is god's gift to dancing. At first I thought he was bizarre but then he got me with his phrenetic persona. He has an irresistable pull, like the Bermuda Triangle(and no I'm not referring to my cha).

Captain Steve said... July 8, 2009 at 11:31 AM  

Hahahha. You're his little bread. Ahahahha.

Betsey Booms said... July 8, 2009 at 2:32 PM  

This entire post could have happened in my house.

Arizaphale said... July 8, 2009 at 7:57 PM  

Too much panini is the root of all evil I say........

A Free Man said... July 9, 2009 at 3:08 AM  

Zach does the same, he followed some woman around the museum yesterday convinced she was his mother. And any male character in a book is 'Bubba'. I have nothing to say about bread. Or fishes. Or Jesus for that matter.

Gwen said... July 9, 2009 at 10:13 AM  

This cracked me up.

Yo Gabba Gabba: My name is Gwen. I like to dance. Am I too old to participate in that segment?

I say you get the better end of the deal on the comparisons. My daughter tells me I have a big butt too. There are many big things on me, but my butt isn't one of them. But it's big compared to hers I suppose. It's all relative. I'm lucky because i was 5 months pregnant in my wedding photos. Nobody will look at those one day and sigh, "You were so thin..." If they do then I would be pretty big and then that's so depressing I can't even think about it.

Blues said... July 10, 2009 at 9:53 AM  

I love this. I love Bebe. It's so cute that she sees you in all those things. It's amazing to see how a child makes connections like that. While she says, 'Mama', maybe she's really saying, 'she's got hair just like Mama' but all that comes out is the one word she can say.

Gypsy said... July 20, 2009 at 8:14 AM  

Ciabatta. That cracks me up.

charlotte said... July 29, 2009 at 12:19 AM  

this post is a riot. =)

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