Never give up, never surrender!

Listen to me.

Yes, I'm talking to you.

That was, totally, uncool.

There I was, face up, laying on the just made bed contemplating which part of my to do list I was going to tackle first. I was staring up at the lazily spinning ceiling fan, not really looking at anything, just silently thinking when you dropped from the fan and landed right in my face, smack between the eyes.

Seriously, that was so uncool.

What happened next is a bit of a blur but involves me yelling for my husband, and shaking my head more vigorously than a fifteen year old boy at a Slayer concert circa 1992. There was a bit of keening followed by a three minute attack of severe heebie jeebies. The worst part was I still didn't know what had fallen on me and where it was.

Then I saw you lollygagging about on my comforter.
We have nurtured an uneasy truce in the past, you and I, but I have no choice but to view this as an all out declaration of war. Sure you and yours have already sustained some casualties but I've told you, you get free run of the bathroom from midnight to six am, rest of the time it's mine and if I see you, you got a date with a sizable wad of toilet paper. I refuse to call an exterminator, I won't make someone else do my bidding and truthfully, I'm phobic about chemicals. But seriously, if you can base jump on my face with impunity, just skulk with one eye open from now on and watch out for my fucking foot.

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13 comments:

Florida Girl In Sydney said... June 7, 2010 at 7:10 PM  

Is that a silverfish? Wtf???? On your face??? I also hate the exterminator, but I occasionally succumb and have them spray the outside only-- as if to create a border of death around the house.

formerly fun said... June 7, 2010 at 7:49 PM  

Ding, ding, ding. Yup, that's a silverfish. An evil silverfish.

well read hostess said... June 7, 2010 at 8:41 PM  

Excuse me.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT OH MY GOD DID YOU MOVE??? I would have to move. Or douse the house in gasoline and light a match and walk away.



Guess who isn't sleeping tonight.

Chamuca said... June 7, 2010 at 11:22 PM  

I can deal with spiders and ants, even roaches. But silverfish are so friggin' disgusting. They give me the willies. Ug.

greenbean said... June 7, 2010 at 11:27 PM  

Ahhh! I just saw one at my house...THere was one on the floor on the bottom floor. I didn't have a sizeable wad of toilet paper handy! =( All I had was a tiny ass 1 inch maybe 2 inch thin piece of paper, and I was too much of a wuss to smush it..since there wasn't much of a barrier between said piece of paper and the soon to be not crushed silverfish...So after a sad attempt at smashing it, it ran away =( I suck.

A Free Man said... June 8, 2010 at 3:40 AM  

There's far too little 'keening' these days.

Nice to 'see' you.

Logical Libby said... June 8, 2010 at 11:28 AM  

That is truly disgusting. Try dusting with cinnamon. They hate it, just like they hate puppies, ice cream, and the American way.

Here In Franklin said... June 10, 2010 at 12:09 PM  

Oh...we have the occasional big black ant and japanese beetles outside, but I've never seen one of those. I thought it was a scorpion at first. Have you thoroughly checked the fan? Just reading this made my toes curl.

puncturedbicycle said... June 10, 2010 at 2:19 PM  

I wouldn't want one landing on my face (startle factor 50), but I could tolerate its presence. A mosquito or a fly in the room is a different story.

I had the unfortunate experience of picking a load of blackberries only to later find them crawling with silverfish, which was admittedly pretty disgusting.

Aren't you pleased you had your mouth closed when it landed?

MJ said... June 11, 2010 at 1:50 PM  

For us, it's roaches and ladybugs. Ladybugs EVERYWHERE. And now it's getting hot, so all the bugs want to come in for some A/C.

Rassles said... June 17, 2010 at 9:46 PM  

What kills me? The thousand leggers. Fuck those fuckin fucks.

Blues said... June 19, 2010 at 4:01 PM  

Before I moved I lived with a bunch of roaches. Well, mainly we just shared a bathroom. They were kinda like snowbirds because they would only appear in the summer, but they were huge and fucking nasty. My cat was usually all over them (he liked to tear their legs off and scatter them about the room). But once my cat was not doing his job and I was in bed using my laptop and one of those fuckers crawled right up my leg. Very surprising that my laptop did not get destroyed when I threw it off of me and went in to a raging freak out. I think I screamed for like ten minutes and then cried at some point and then yelled at my husband for a couple of hours about wanting to move.

Thank GOD we don't live there anymore.

I have never seen a silverfish in my life but it looks freaky.

Sam said... April 9, 2012 at 7:06 AM  

The rabbits are so adorable. I love the photos.

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