Someone's Officially a Little Woman Now, Ugh

You know, the life of a n'er do well, jet-setting Brazilian waxer is enviable and rarely dull. For instance, this week at the Maison 'd Formerlyfun:

Lucy Bagels became a woman and started her first menstrual cycle because she got into the cat food the morning she was to get spayed and I have been remiss in rescheduling her appointment. Now I have to explain to the kids why the dog's "butt" is bleeding, but really, she's fine. No, we are not going to celebrate the moment by buying her a box of pads and her own copy of Are You There God, It's Me Margaret.

In an attempt to get my son to stop biting his nails, and cuticles and probably his toenails when I am not watching, I got the No-Bite nail polish. I was worried it was a bit of a barbaric approach until everyone in the house asked to try it. It's like when someone tastes the sour milk and says to you, I think this is sour, taste it.

On a high note, I recently got to meet one of my favorite fellow bloggers, the Baroness Von Bloggenschtern. Not only did I get to meet her but her husband and two sweet(I know boys hate that word but they were, they really were) teenage sons. The Baroness was just as I would have imagined her, charming, unpretentiously eloquent, warm and funny. They were kind enough to pop over to my neck of the beach for a meet and great. There was girl talk, mom talk and to my delight, they are all huggers.

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14 comments:

Arizaphale said... August 12, 2009 at 2:38 PM  

It's great to meet bloggers in real life isn't it? Except A Free Man. You don't want to meet him. No siree. ;-D
I am a veteran of the 'No-Bite' solution. Over here it was called something else but I remember the flavour. I got used to it. When you reeeeally want to bite your nails not much will stop you. Eventually it was being a teenager and wanting to have manicures that made the difference. Not sure that'll work for your son.

Ginny said... August 12, 2009 at 4:33 PM  

Pleeeeease let me know how the No Bite works. Because I am thisclose to taping oven mitts onto my son's hands.

I have geeky dreams of meeting the bloggers I "know". That must have been pretty damn awesome.

well read hostess said... August 12, 2009 at 10:01 PM  

oh my gah! how cool!

Call me jealous!!

love,
Jealous

you saw that coming, didn't you?

baronessvonb said... August 13, 2009 at 10:02 PM  

Both husband and son2 are addicted to NoBite; not sure of their stance on spaying or doggypads...

Captain Steve said... August 16, 2009 at 9:38 PM  

The only way I stopped biting my fingernails was by getting braces. Then there was the gnawing of the cuticles, which is a disgusting habit I have yet to break.

Grats on the new little lady! I hope to someday meet people in real life, I just have to grow the balls first.

Rassles said... August 17, 2009 at 11:10 AM  

I used to suck my thumb, and the parents totally put that horseshit nastles ant-thumb-suckery stuff on my thumb. But I thwarted them when I learned how to wash it off. Suckers.

A Free Man said... August 17, 2009 at 10:29 PM  

What color is the nail polish, because you know you could have scarred the poor boy for life. In ten years he'll be telling his therapist how his Mom painted his nails when he was a boy and made him dress up in frilly frocks.

Sid said... August 18, 2009 at 7:48 AM  

LOL! So I read the whole Lucy thing and WAS really confused at FIRST. I was all like why the f*ck would your teenager get into the cat food?

Gypsy said... August 18, 2009 at 12:40 PM  

Rassles, I did the same thing! Can't stop me.

Formerly Fun, good luck with the dog who's all growed up now.

And yay for meeting the Baroness!

hereinfranklin said... August 23, 2009 at 3:16 PM  

I want to meet another blogger. (Does that sound weird and stalker-ish?)

Heather said... August 29, 2009 at 7:17 AM  

I have met MaggieDammit and it was so fun and cool!

Our hamster became a lady too and we didn't understand and hubby brought her to the vet. They thought we were cute.

They have doggy diapers for that FYI.

yellojkt said... August 30, 2009 at 7:31 PM  

I didn't even know dogs had periods. Mine were all boys, so I guess I wouldn't.

Blues said... September 6, 2009 at 7:39 AM  

No bite! I remember my dad torturing me with that stuff.

Awwww, now I'm all jealous and bummed I didn't get to meet up with you while in Cali. Next year for sure.

Just wanted to say... said... October 4, 2009 at 3:28 PM  

Ode to Judy Blume.

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