Wayz to Save the Planet

With the trend toward the Greening of everything, I wanted to share tips for saving the planet, Formerly Fun style.

If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down. If it's dirty, pretend it's purdy because Clorox bowl cleaner isn't good for the planet.

Change from standard light bulbs to CFLs(Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs), better yet, switch to candlelight, you'll look younger and more attractive in the warm, forgiving, flickering glow.

Institute a housewide one outfit for one week policy, enlist help of family-size bottle of FaBreeze.

Quit your job and eliminate commuting carbon emissions.

Support your local growers, buy your weed only from local, sustainable harvesters.

Traditional house cleaners are expensive and toxic, stop cleaning and embrace domestic dishevelment.

Cancel your expensive and wasteful electronic security system and invest in a 100% recycled material machete, a green gun or a personal Zombie.

Cut your shower time in half, masturbate in bed.

Cancel the gym membership and set your thermostat. Low in winter, shivering=exercise. Turn off the AC in summer, sweating reduces unsightly water weight gain.

Unplug large appliances like washer, dryer, vacuum cleaner when you're not using them, better yet, leave them unplugged all the time. Dishwasher is surprisingly efficient but paper plates are better.

This Halloween, forgo the standard cavity-inducing candy. Eschew giving away granola bars, popcorn balls or even pennies--too expensive. Instead, this Halloween, dish out a heaping spoonful of good advice. Kids will appreciate your gentle nudgings to floss more or eat their locally grown sustainable broccoli much more than they would ever enjoy that KitKat or delicious premium Dove chocolate.


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Laura said... October 12, 2010 at 9:17 PM  

I am happy to report that we are already doing many of these things you recommend. So glad I can help make the world a better place. And I have one final word for you: Soapnuts.

Arizaphale said... October 13, 2010 at 6:16 AM  

I wonder how long you would survive on Halloween with that last generous suggestion??

Mamie@breast actives before and after pictures said... September 6, 2011 at 4:30 AM  

Let's have a green environment, save our planet earth. Green living or green lifestyle is one way to help our environment from global warming..

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