Goodbye Thirty Five, Hello Thirty Six

Goodbye perfectly smooth feet and snag free manicured fingernails. I have discovered gardening and can't be bothered to remember to put my gloves on or wear shoes. Seeing that I devote nearly 23 hours of everyday to 1 husband , three kids, two cats, a dog, and a small business-- that only leaves me about an hour to devote to my own personal care needs and a girls gotta poop sometime.

Goodbye luxurious silky mane. I won't cut you off anytime soon but gone are the days of regular trims and deep conditioning. The baby is finally past grabbing fistfuls of you and ripping you out so I'm hoping you fill in from time to time but until then, can you recommend a good volumizing shampoo?Goodbye regular reading. We had it so good didn't we? Just you and I, we were inseparable. It seemed like all we ever did was go on long weekends together, exotic vacations or just hole up together and spend the whole weekend in bed. Now I treat you like the old, smelly family pet saying hi once in awhile but rarely getting down for a good snuggle.

Goodbye going braless, you guys are still fighting the good fight but you've let me down a little. The weight of it all has pushed me to join a daily support group.

Goodbye smoking, I gave you up for good a long time ago but don't think that I don't still think of you nearly every day. You were good for a quick diet or after a fight with my mom or a reward/ break on Saturdays cleaning the house. You have been missed but I don't miss the way you made me feel. You treated me bad, come on, you know you did. I broke up with you but I took you back a few times. There were a few late night booty calls after a night out but no more, it hurts a little to say this but I'm really over you.

Goodbye size six and maybe even eight, I hope I see you again soon but this baby thing is really getting in the way. Yes, maybe I should be working out instead of blogging but I don't want to.

Goodbye extra cash, I'd like you to meet the new guy, Three Kids Who Want Bachelor Degree's At Minimum. Yes, I'm not sure I like the new guy either but he's here, handcuffed to my card sliding arm, reminding me every time I get into three digits at Target that I'm a bad mom who didn't really need that new stripey cardigan.


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19 comments:

Blues said... June 4, 2009 at 2:47 PM  

Is it your birthday? Happy birthday.

Oh, I miss my youngin skin. I don't miss how obsessed I was over it though.

Gravity hasn't really effected my boobies. Probably they'd have to weigh something for gravity to kick in, right?

erin said... June 4, 2009 at 3:56 PM  

I miss smoking, reading and my hair the most.
The smoking thing was only a college thing, but I totally see the quick diet/fight with mom smoking binge here and there.
Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

formerly fun said... June 4, 2009 at 4:05 PM  

Ok, I'm only going to let like 5 more people tell me happy birthday(cause it feels so good) before I set everyone straight. My b-day isn't until August I'm just tring to get myself used to being closer to forty than thirty now.

And for those of you already past forty, I am not saying forty is bad, just that I'm struggling with the inevitable transition. My hubs is over forty and smokin hot, I just haven't gotten my head around it yet.

ZenMom said... June 4, 2009 at 6:05 PM  

I just hit the big 3-5 a few months ago. Honestly, it wasn't nearly as traumatic I'd expected. And yet ... I can still relate to it all ... The time, the skin, the hair, the gravity-enhanced cleavage, extra pounds in odd places.

But, I figure it's worth it. Not just for my wonderful children and my darling husband. But for the maturity that comes with it all. I'm a lot calmer, smarter, more balanced and just all around happier at 35 than I was at 25. I think it's a fair trade. :)

Oh, and did I mention the great sex? 'Cuz, yeah, that's way better, too. :)

A Free Man said... June 4, 2009 at 11:33 PM  

Mmmm, smoking. God I loved smoking. Stupid lung cancer/emphysema/heart disease.

Mongoliangirl said... June 5, 2009 at 5:30 AM  

You're so pretty FF. Seriously, if I hear/read you worry for one more minute I'm going to...oh who knows what. You're just so pretty.
And, in case this helps, I just turned 43 and feel so fuckin' hot that I can hardly stand myself. Yeah, part of it is because I just discovered a new bra that makes it look like I got a boob lift AND augmentation but, you know, I still feel fuckin' hot.
I think I'll go wake Hellbilly up with my hotness right now.

Arizaphale said... June 5, 2009 at 8:46 AM  

Wait til you're closer to 50 than 40!!!!! Ah heck, it's like they say: it's a shame that by the time you get your head together your body is falling apart....

hereinfranklin said... June 5, 2009 at 8:50 AM  

Shit. I'm the oldest person in the entire blogosphere. Except those two old ladies who blog about social security.

prayingtodarwin said... June 5, 2009 at 5:02 PM  

You know that part in Alice in Wonderland where she's growing, but at first, she just feels like the ceiling is closing in on her? Yeah, that's 40 to me, too.

Rage against the dying of the light, and all that, sister friend.

thecheekofgod said... June 6, 2009 at 11:46 AM  

Smoking? It's biting my ass as of late. I need to smack that bitch DOWN!

Anonymous said... June 6, 2009 at 4:28 PM  

Nature is kind - a your body slides, so does your eyesight. Just as the wrinkles get really bad, you stop being able to see them properly, and the closer you look, the more soft focus they get.

Gwen said... June 7, 2009 at 12:25 PM  

Well Happy belated birthday. I just had one myself and it sure is no fun getting older, is it?

Gwen said... June 7, 2009 at 12:26 PM  

Oh and now I see that is isn't your birthday. Damnit, I should read all the comments before I chime in with my own!

formerly fun said... June 7, 2009 at 1:40 PM  

Well Gwen, I'm glad I'm not the only one whose mind is going:)

Gypsy said... June 8, 2009 at 7:13 AM  

Out at a bar on Saturday night my friend and I decided to get a pack of Parliaments and make like chimneys. I'm still not able to speak correctly.

I took a good look at my skin this weekend and holy hell is it not good. Not good at all.

Rassles said... June 8, 2009 at 11:52 AM  

I need to stop smoking.

Pah. No I don't.

Anonymous said... June 9, 2009 at 9:50 AM  

GENIUS

...and if I were smarter, I'd still argue that we're twins.

Ellie said... June 9, 2009 at 1:33 PM  

I'm looking down the barrel of 40. The trigger is pulled on Thursday. Yikes! I like the way you're prepping for it!

SSG said... June 11, 2009 at 12:07 AM  

happy birthday! I should aim at getting some things done before I have kids then... I don't know where I waste my time, probably sleeping and fussing about stuff that in the long run doesn't really matter

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