Ten Signs I'm Overwhelmed

1.It's 6pm and the kids are already in bed.

2.I have once again lowered the standards for what I will leave the house wearing.
3.I pay the cats 9 kibble an hour to keep an eye on the bebe while I take a shower.

4.I mistakenly look for a new nanny on Megan's list instead of craigslist.

5.What do you mean a cupcake's not a balanced meal? If you don't finish it, you're not getting dessert.

6.I've given the cats baths, clipped the kids claws, mowed the carpet, vacuumed the lawn, gave my husband a package to mail and the mailman a blowjob.

7.I fall asleep doing the math in my head of how much it would cost us to have our babysitter stay for a whole weekend.

8.I am contemplating a paper route just for some time alone.

9.I consider inviting my mother-in-law over just so she'll offer to get us a cleaning lady out of disgust.

10.I entertain the possibility of polygamy for nothing more than another woman around to help get stuff done.

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16 comments:

Preston said... November 25, 2008 at 11:06 AM  

I love top ten lists and yours is hysterical! What a luck mailman. I bet his Mr. Smiley was really smiling. :)

Gypsy said... November 25, 2008 at 11:33 AM  

Some days my house is such a wreck I just want to bulldozer the whole thing and start over.

Great list. :)

Rassles said... November 25, 2008 at 12:46 PM  

You should make more lists. Yours are better than mine.

Bittersweet Confusion said... November 25, 2008 at 1:33 PM  

LMAO... that made my day

Lauren said... November 25, 2008 at 2:19 PM  

Maybe you should get an au pair! AuPairCare www.aupaircare.com is a fantastic au pair agency that many families in my area have been very happy with. AuPairCare's online au pair matching system make it really easy to view lots of au pair profiles and find the best one to meet your childcare needs. Plus I have only heard raves about AuPaircare's local service/support.

Laurel said... November 25, 2008 at 2:54 PM  

I have always said that I need a wife or two to get things done around here.

Rassles said... November 25, 2008 at 3:53 PM  

I will be your Au Pair. All I need is free booze.

mongoliangirl said... November 25, 2008 at 3:57 PM  

And then you reminded me of the time I sat in a completely plastic public restroom and decided I would like to have one just like it at home.
You know...so I could just go in there with a garden hose, spray it down, and call it good.

A Free Man said... November 25, 2008 at 4:28 PM  

I know just how you feel after only one day home with one kid. Although my mailman remains unmolested.

SSG said... November 26, 2008 at 2:30 AM  

hehhehe.... time for more drugs...

http://www.stickergiant.com/50-s-housewife_gc0931.html

tysdaddy said... November 26, 2008 at 4:08 AM  

"7.I fall asleep doing the math in my head of how much it would cost us to have our babysitter stay for a whole weekend."

Yep, I'm with you there. Done this so many times . . . and followed through once or twice.

Never mind the email I sent you. I remember where we "met." It's early. I haven't had coffee yet. I'm a bit busy packing for the road trip south toward Turkeyville. Yeah, I'm a bit overwhelmed myself.

Hope you have a great rest of the week . . .

Bluestreak said... November 26, 2008 at 4:19 AM  

priority on this list is the weekend with a babysitter. But maybe you could kill two birds with one stone and get the Mother-In-Law over to babysit.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said... November 26, 2008 at 9:39 AM  

That was an awesome list. Megan's list instead of Craigslist? I almost peed.

Thanks for doing such a splendid job on my vag. It's smoother than a baby's bottom. Oh, and good news, I didn't permanently scar the punk. I don't think I'll ever get the vision of her staring at my lady business and saying, "oh that one's really gonna hurt" out of my head though...

MJ said... November 26, 2008 at 9:51 AM  

I entertain the possibility of polygamy for nothing more than another woman around to help get stuff done.

AMEN.

rubyredruca said... November 26, 2008 at 6:04 PM  

I laughed my ass off throughout this entire post.

trailerparkbarbie said... November 26, 2008 at 7:52 PM  

Number 10...I am soooo in agreement with you. I told my husband that he could get another wife. He wouldn't. Then I begged him to get another wife. Nada I'm seriously thinking about advertising for one and presenting her as his Chirstmas gift!!!!

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